Hopes of a Mother

       The main objective in my life is to be a truly good mom.  Not to merely provide my children with food and clothing and to be around them, but to bring joy in their lives, to help them to reach their potential, to help them develop confidence and integrity, to be kind to others and to KNOW that their Heavenly Father loves them.  The list is probably a mile long of what I want for my kids and in helping them with all of these things I fulfill a deep need within myself.  It is what occupies a lot of my thoughts.  At the end of every day I think of every time I yelled, or didn't handle a situation in a way I should have and I regret it with my whole heart.  I know I am not perfect and I am not going to be perfect, but I don't have to be perfect to be the perfect mom for my kids.  Childhood is short.  So short and when my kids have finally decided that they no longer want bedtime stories, they want to put away their toys, they would rather be with their friends then Josh and me and that they are ready to be independent, I don't want to cry (well I probably will no matter what), I don't want to have regret and think of all of the things that I wish I had done while they were little.  I am terrified of regret.

   I have a dream a lot that they are already there, that they are teenagers and ready to be a lot more independent of me and I wake up so THANKFUL that we aren't there yet.  I want when that time comes to be excited that it is here!  To be proud of my kids that they are ready for it and happy for all of the new and wonderful things they are going to experience.   I want to live life fully with my children and I hope that I can teach them to continue living their lives fully as they move on to adulthood.  Life is so wonderful and exciting.  I find myself waking up a lot of days excited about the day.  I am not really sure why, as nothing specific is happening that day, but mostly because life is just so good and all that comes with it...even the bad (and believe me we have seen bad in the last couple of years, it makes the good times that much BETTER.)

Every day is full of so many possibilities.  I hope by the end of my children's childhoods they will have felt my love for them.  That they will remember lots of hugs and kisses, thousands of words of encouragement, scores of games and fun experiences we had as a family, the feelings of love and protection that I remember feeling when I was a child and lots of silliness.  I hope my kids NEVER doubt how much I love them. I am not yet the mother I would like to be, but each day I wake up with the possibility that I will become a little more like her than I was the day before. 

I found a quote the other day that resonated deeply with me.  I am going to print it off somewhere where I can always see it.

How to Really Love a Child

            Be there.  Say yes as often as you can. Let them bang on pots and pans.  If they’re crabby, put them in water.  Read books out loud with joy.  Go find elephants and kiss them.  Encourage silly.  Giggle a lot.  Remember how really small they are.  Search out the positive.  Keep the gleam in your eye.  Go see a movie in your pajamas.  Teach feelings.  Realize how important it is to be a child.  Plan to build a rocketship.  Stop yelling.  Invent pleasures together.  Surprise them.  Express your love.  A lot.  Children are miraculous! 

                                                                        -SARK

 My life will go on years after my little ones are grown.  My kid's childhood is fleeting.  It is a tiny portion of all of the years that make up my life.  I hope and pray I will not waste them.