Today I was told that I am lucky that I get to stay home from work and “play all day.” Wow. The funny thing is that this is not the first time I have had something similar said to me. Why in the world do people feel that they have the right to say such rude things? I would never DREAM of saying something similar to that to someone who works. I absolutely respect women who work and are mothers at the same time. I know they have a hard job, but don’t belittle me because YOU FEEL my life is easier than yours. I REFUSE to judge someone who works or someone who stays home from work. Why? BECAUSE IT IS NOT MY PLACE! I don’t know why they have made the choices they have in their life. I have never been inside their head and seen what they see, felt what they feel, in short I couldn’t understand someone’s choices unless I WAS that person.
I take my job as a mother very seriously. I WORK very hard at it. Sure it is playing action figures, baking cookies, making meals, cleaning up a mess, the same mess for the fourth time…that day. My job (yes I consider it a job and I take it as serious as any person in the work force) is monotonous, wonderful, miserable, trying, and at times heavenly. And playing action figures would be FUN if I were between the ages of 2 and 10. I am not however, I am a 33 year old woman who is sitting on the floor being bashed in the hand by a Batman figure held by her 5 year old. I do it because that is part of my job, to make my kids happy, to develop their imaginations. They are my “boss”. I read the same story over and over and over because I like that story? Nope, because my “boss” wants to hear it for the gazillionth time. This to me is as difficult to do day in and day out as were the reports and documents that I wrote as a legal secretary. Not harder or easier, different. I care every bit about my work as anyone else. I take my “job” seriously. I spend hours reading books on parenting, planning out things for my family to do and teaching.
I know that there are stresses in the work place that I don’t have. I am grateful for that. There are also perks about working that I also don’t have. Sometimes I wish I did. But really, I am not trying to say my choice is better or worse than anyone else’s choice. It is different, and it is mine. And for some reason it makes me a target for snide condescending remarks. I am a mother. It is a hard and very rewarding job. So let us remember, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
5 comments:
Eloquently said for all working women (including us mothers). In fact, some days, like today, I would have probably had more patience were I to be at a desk.
Very well said Emily!!!
I love this. I know that sometimes (sometimes!!!) things are not said to me in a way that I should take offense too, and I try not to, but there is a double standard for sure....I have had things said to me, that if I turned it around and said back, would be so politically incorrect or just plain rude...but it's OK for it to be said to me, a stay at home mom.
I love my job, it's everything you said, and no matter what anyone thinks of it or me, I know from staying home with these kids for 17 years already, that I wouldn't trade one day of it. I know how much I am needed here. I never felt like I had a choice to make when they put that first baby in my arms...every cell of my being had already made the choice for me.
I teach 32 10 year olds every day. You raise 4 boys under the age of 8.
Your job is by FAR more demanding, more time comsuming, more difficult, more rewarding, more EVERYTHING...
You are my hero!
point well made! I love it - it is so true. We do not get credit for what we do! Some days I think I'd prefer to go to work.
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